I didn't chose to look like this. My boyfriend's big (but warm) hoodie, messed up morning hair, feathery colored mesh on the side that indeed looks more like feathers than hair. The void under my cheak bones is somewhat fuller since the little I've been eating has been pure artificial low-cost carbohydrates. My appearance is very much out of sync with myself but I do like to include a piece of me in my posts.
I'd much rather have long hair like I used to:
(^ 3 months ago )
I'm too tired to take care of my appearance.
I'm always very tired. I've been losing allot of sleep over looking for my own appartment
... because I am. I'm looking for a 1 1/2 or studio (a medium or big individual appartment room with mini stove and fridge) - but my budget is extremely low compared to the average minimum price.
It does exist, though. I have to keep updated with internet adds allot and read the paper every day.
I'm going to move out into a hole in the wall, but I am going to turn it into a great little place. I'll pay the rent and things with my part time job, which will be difficult for me in terms of food budget till I find a second part time job, or replace my current job by a full time one. (my food budget is what in Quebec french we call laughable) - I'll be getting lots of food helps from my family and boyfriend, though. I might also do my shopping almost exclusively in buying food baskets... Montreal is a good place for food baskets.
I'm starting to emerge from an obsession period that rendered me sleepless and heavily depressed. The appartment is constantly on my mind. It's the only thing that I have to hold on to. By October 1st, My boyfriend, his friend (my friend) and I will be split in seperate directions. Of course, my boyfriend will be visitin me in my appartment every now and then. My point is, it's a count down and I need to secure a place.
I've looked at some places. I have low quality inexpensive choices, higher quality more expensive choices and one particular option that would be the deal breaker: an organisation for youth I still borderline qualify for this year, in which I would live very very comfortably for as little or as long as I need, for up to a year.
From Tomorrow forward, I'll be attending another 4 months of Personality Disorder group therapy. This is the second part of two, the part focusing on positive ways to deal with your "crazies" & how to gradually evolve into a mentally & emotionally healthier person, for yourself and those around you.
My weeks are soon going to be composed of work, me-time, boyfriend-time, group therapy, family-time, & space for friends-time if I like.
Obsession worthy. I have to stop obsessing..! I'm going to go out for a walk. Morning is a time for me to escape the bedroom full-force. Here are some of my recent sketches if it can be of any visual appeal or curiosity to anyone passing by.