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About Varied / Student Member Tiffany Gabrielle Xinidakis22/Female/Canada Group :iconbatforlashesclub: BatForLashesClub
there's a place i must go
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Tiffany Gabrielle Xinidakis
Artist | Student | Varied
Canada




About me


My name is Tiffany Gabrielle, I'm 22.

facebook Link of an artsy nutcase who probably somehow thinks you don't like her:

Facebook.com/TiffanyGabrielleA…


Interests

Activity


  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: GORILLAZ
  • Reading: Les Aurores Montreales
  • Playing: Journey
  • Eating: jelly toast
  • Drinking: water
Haven't written here in a while. It's odd - I'm typing over a background that is my thighs covered in the same pair of sunflower pants I wore frequently last summer in Verdun.

Where I am now isn't all that different from Verdun.. Within these walls there is lack of food and mental instability. Most of it actually comes from me, when I'm not medicated.

we'll be eating better now - plus mom gave us a bunch of food. I feel bad... but hey. It's good to have stuff around.

I prefer this life over the job I had at the train station, working 4 hours a day 5 days a week. I live in Montreal now, and I don't eevn need the outside worl. I have my cooky family right inside.

Explorations have me bumping up on the experience scale but nonetheless my sanity is difficult to keep without medicating. I can't always afford it.

I wonder what you guys are up to.... *bows dust off your icons*

-Tiff

11050743 1643312085898129 8395697592703244135 N by luc1d-dream

11076247 1645979118964759 4654586550886837238 N by luc1d-dream
*THIS is the (QUESTION) 

Q: To what extent is it our responsibility to adapt to our nearest social environment?

A: ?

- - -

(About the Forum category / why I ask)
I think this post is appropriate for it's category because it is both a question and a plea for help in the form of understanding something rather than fearing it. I'm looking to come to an understanding with the use of conversation and research.

- - -

(OTHER QUESTIONS if you're looking for inspiration)

- What if our nearest social environment is destructive?

- Where does the fringe lie between an environment that is simply different from you and one that is destructive?

- What qualifies a destructive environment?

- What qualifies a positive environment?

- How do you live within your environment? What is the chemistry like?

- Reaching outside* of your nearest social environment: when and why and how it should be done?

- - -

I don't want anyone feeling pressured to talk allot or to hold back on talking allot.

(Reply as you wish)
any of you here? just raise your hand

(and I will interview you with shy fascination)

I'd have a few questions. But is anyone here an illustrator?

1 - what does your work schedule look like?

2 - how do you work? solo/contractual/comissions or permanently engaged with a certain company/magazine/etc?

3 - if this isn't too personal, what kind of a revenue can you expect from this kind of job?

4 - What is your education level?

5 - (you don't have to answer) (really) - how old are you? in what country do you live?

For the record - I'd be just as pleased if you shot random conversation at me regardless of my neat little list. (social awkwardism - got this post nice n' pre/over-calculated)
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: street musicians who play the Hang (on Youtube)
  • Reading: dalai lama quotes, Geography of Bliss, ADD myth
  • Watching: /listening to youtubers talk
  • Playing: more than before (not enough)
  • Eating: finally quietting the raging munchies
  • Drinking: coffee with milk & (sigh) artificial sweetener
10822145 1596713727224632 1299571454 N by luc1d-dream

I take allot of photos lately but I have little to no time to edit and post them. That's alright. Too much is kind of sweet.

Spent allot of time with a friend, exploring down town, eating, playing. Killing time. Weird little hotel.

Forcing myself out of bed in the morning. Smoking like a chimeney. Setting things in motion to meet new people and see old friends. Christmas gifts, saving money for needs and projects.

Finishing high school classes, starting soon.
(looking for an adult education center)

Talking to my boss about the meditation center soon, as well.
(focusing on when this other employee is coming back from a vacation)

Thinking

Breathing

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It's a little difficult for me to get a system going of regularly talking to all the people I would like to keep in touch with. I'm working on it - (time management thing)

Hello you guys. How have you been?
(Hello ebobo vom, surely prompt as usual)
(the jesus of Deviantart cometh)
10808779 692126207573077 1093884812 N by luc1d-dream

My social confidence is more or less completely shot. I have to think about it more as a potential to develope. I have to learn how to let things go. I can't let everything go. There are definitely things I can't let go of right now.

- I can't accept that "we" 're no longer together (not going to happen. I can only accept that I have no power over this, which isn't super optimistic.)

and

- I can't/won't accept that my weight has gone up 5 lbs

Only one of these I can control.

I medicate to the point that I feel under the illusion of control, so I lose touch with controling my weight. It's supposed to be healthy and I suppose it is but I'm rejecting it profoundly. Going to work is absolutely frightening since I gained 5 lbs. I'm scared and anxious and extremely uncomfortable. My mental strength is struggling to work with what I know and what I chose. I still want to take that control back safely in my hands. It's my decision, I would continue to be frightened otherwise, and I can only keep trying to be reunited with quietness.

I can only quiet so much myself.

I need the fear to step out the door.

I thought I was able to control it, I need to be able to control it. I need to get ready for work. And stop eat so much.

This is not what buddhism teaches. I don't have the time to do any research. I have to go to work. Scared.

I do better alone I think. I'm not sure. I do better and worse. I'm not sure I can do this life thing. I don't know yet. I apparently have to.

I have to so I have to learn to. I will lean to live like you apparently should. I've completely given up on the pleasures I've known. It breaks my heart man.

That won't go away.

No one like that is going to step in and I don't know that I'll even have that kind of a welcome. I'm getting fuglier and growing distant from people. I wish it wasn't as sweet as it was, or this wouldn't be so beyond intellectual reassurances.

It's difficult

I have to go to work. Train ride. And stuff. It's cold. I HAVE TO STOP EATING SO MUCH. If I could, I'd stop crying after a few days.

It's true.

I have* to
  • Mood: Crazy
  • Reading: dalai lama quotes
  • Eating: about 1850 cals a day. (double my usual diet)
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: GORILLAZ
  • Reading: Les Aurores Montreales
  • Playing: Journey
  • Eating: jelly toast
  • Drinking: water
Haven't written here in a while. It's odd - I'm typing over a background that is my thighs covered in the same pair of sunflower pants I wore frequently last summer in Verdun.

Where I am now isn't all that different from Verdun.. Within these walls there is lack of food and mental instability. Most of it actually comes from me, when I'm not medicated.

we'll be eating better now - plus mom gave us a bunch of food. I feel bad... but hey. It's good to have stuff around.

I prefer this life over the job I had at the train station, working 4 hours a day 5 days a week. I live in Montreal now, and I don't eevn need the outside worl. I have my cooky family right inside.

Explorations have me bumping up on the experience scale but nonetheless my sanity is difficult to keep without medicating. I can't always afford it.

I wonder what you guys are up to.... *bows dust off your icons*

-Tiff

11050743 1643312085898129 8395697592703244135 N by luc1d-dream

11076247 1645979118964759 4654586550886837238 N by luc1d-dream

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Comments


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:iconsimplyshelbs16:
simplyshelbs16 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Student Artist
thanks for the fave!
Reply
:iconpaulv3design:
PaulV3Design Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014   Digital Artist
Thanks for the FAV!
Reply
:iconnunofigueira:
NunoFigueira Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014
Thank you for faving Gabrielle :hug:
Reply
:icongetcarter:
getcarter Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014   Photographer
Thanks for the favorite on this photograph.
FAITH by getcarter
Reply
:iconsuzu-chan123:
Suzu-chan123 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave ^^
Reply
:iconluc1d-dream:
luc1d-dream Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome!! :)
Reply
:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014
I hope you got out of Canada safely!!
youtu.be/aO8Lk05NY8k
Reply
:iconluc1d-dream:
luc1d-dream Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Student General Artist
I saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw
Reply
:iconluc1d-dream:
luc1d-dream Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Student General Artist
I don't much like the song, but I love the video, and do think I might end up liking the song too after a few listens. Thanks vom

blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh
Reply
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